The NonAdventures of Boring Girl!
by katsy1988
Summary: The true title is, "The Not So Stunning, Or Even Remotely Amazing, Non-Adventures Of Boring Girl.” but it was too long. Basically its a mock-documentary of a boring girl doing boring things. Its written like a screen play. Its a joke. Please don't hate.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello lovely readers. So this oddball story was inspired by a conversation I was having with my fiancé today. We were discussing how to progress a certain character in a different story. All of his ideas were wonderful but using any of them (Aerith's reincarnation??) would have made her too interesting. Thus, a dreaded "Mary Sue". Every one of my ideas made her boring. We decided that, when using an OC, if you make them at all interesting to keep readers entertained they become a Mary Sue. If you take everything interesting away you are left with a new subspecies "Boring Girl" So please sit back and enjoy the first installment of…**

"**The Not So Stunning, Or Even Remotely Amazing, Non-Adventures Of Boring Girl."**

**-Disclaimer, this is just for fun. Please do not get offended. It seemed like a good idea to pass the time while I think of plot lines for my other story, and how to make my character interesting enough to read but not too interesting-**

_The camera pans out to see a lovely looking young woman with chocolate colored hair holding a microphone. She is dressed very professionally in a white blouse and grey skirt. She is standing in front of a…. well it's a house. It's very plain, and kind of boring. I think it might have been white at one point…._

**Narrator:**

Hi. I'm Cindy and welcome to the first episode of TV's new documentary, 'Boring Girl!' Join me as we follow her around various stories and see all the fun hi-jinks she gets into.

_The front door opens to reveal… well… a very boring girl. _

_Hair: maybe brownish-blondish? _

_Eyes: kind of brownish-greenishy?_

_Height: oh who cares. She is so boring!_

At this point the camera man pans away to view a lady bug on a flower.

**Narrator (fixing her makeup in a small compact)**

**Boring Girl:**

….

Saying anything would make her interesting. But not saying anything would make her interesting as well… hmmm…

**Boring Girl:**

*cough*

That's better. NARRATOR! Wake up. She's leaving.

_The camera man (grumbling) follows the attractive host and very boring girl to a nearby bar._

**Boring Girl (enters bar)**

**Narrator (stopping in front of the bar)**

Well, well, well. I wonder what is going on at this bar to make Boring Girl choose this as her afternoon hang out? Lets go inside and see what the locals have to say!

_Inside the bar, a very well bosomed woman is wiping down the counter. A blond man with spiky hair sits in a booth, brooding. A man with black hair and a red cape sits in a different booth, brooding as well. A SOLDIER with black hair sits on bar stool, watching the blond man with a dreamy expression. A Turk with red hair leans against the bar, watching the lone woman's breast as she wipes the counter, with a dreamy expression. And, oddly enough, a man with long silver hair stands among the crew, staring in the direction of Boring Girl._

**Narrator (holding a microphone in front of the odd man with silver hair):**

Hi, my name is Cindy! I'm the host of TV's new documentary. "Boring Girl" What's your name sir?

**Silver Haired Man (looking uncomfortable at the fact he was in the bar):**

Sephiroth.

**Narrator:**

My, my! That's a spooky name. How did you end up here, gorgeous?

**Sephiroth:**

I'm not sure. Last I knew I was dead and plotting ways to come back again, because that's what I do. And then *POOF* I'm here. I think I'm in a fan fiction. Interesting… Has to be.

**Narrator:**

Uh huh. Well that's exciting! Please tell us how you know Boring Girl?

**Sephiroth:**

Who?

**Narrator (head jerking back towards Boring Girl)**

**Sephiroth:**

There's a person there? Golly! I was looking at that speck on the glass. See it? It's over on that window.

_The crew and camera focus on the speck… wow. Its so… specky! _

…

_Look at that speck…_

…

_Ten minuets later, the camera is still on the speck as the red head prods at it._

…

**Narrator (remembering that she is getting paid to follow this girl, begins to seriously rethink her career choice. She looks at Boring Girl):**

Where has Boring Girl gone?

**(she slaps the camera man)**

Focus! We need to find Boring Girl!! Who knows what kind of exciting things she's getting into with out us!

After three hours of searching around town and a really exciting snail race the Narrator and camera man arrive back at Boring Girls house. Through the window they see that she is sitting on the couch, eating Oreos watching 'Dancing with the Stars of Midgar!'

**Narrator:**

Well, there you have it world. Day one in the life of Boring Girl! Tune in next time for the Action edition!

**Hope y'all enjoyed! There's more to come later. And while you are patiently waiting think to your self. If the main character of your favorite book or game was a boring plain person with nothing special about them would you read it/ play it? LOL just a thought.**


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome back to another installment of "The Not So Stunning, Or Even Remotely Amazing, Non-Adventures Of Boring Girl." Sorry for the delay in chapters.

Please enjoy!

_**Cue mildly upbeat, but not too upbeat, theme music.**_

_**Blond slender woman holding a microphone smiles into the camera**_

**Narrator:**

Hi! I'm Janet and welcome back to "The Non-Adventures of Boring Girl!" Today we will follow Boring Girl through an action story!

_Boring Girl is seen through her living room window. She is sitting on the couch eating slightly stale Doritos and drinking a mostly flat caffeine-free soda. After several minuets she rises and begins to walk outside._

**Narrator:**

Oh my! Looks like we have something exciting going on in the Boring Girl residence! Oh… oh never mind. She is just coming outside to sit on the front porch.

**Boring girl (sitting on porch swing):**

*sniff*

**Narrator:**

Amazing!

_(The camera pans in close to see Boring Girls face. She has a bit of the orange Dorito cheese at the corner of her mouth)_

_Suddenly, Cloud runs by the home of Boring Girl, wielding his impressive Buster sword at a small beast!_

**Cloud:**

Die evil creature!

**Cactuar:**

…

**Cloud:**

OMNI-SLASH!

_Cloud begins to glow as he concentrates for what is surly going to be an impressive display of skill and dexterity. Cloud launches at his foe at full speed, raises his sword-_

**This commercial break has been brought to you by Chocobo Hemorrhoid Cream! **

**Hi! Does your Chocobo have hemorrhoids? I know mine does! So I use fast acting Chocobo Hemorrhoid Cream to get rid of my Chocobo's hemorrhoids. Now we no longer miss a moment of our busy lives due to hemorrhoids any longer! **

**~Wark! Wark!~**

_The show opens back to a victorious Cloud standing atop several slain Cacutars. Several towns people are applauding Cloud and his efforts at keeping the town safe and free of Cacutars. One young girl runs up to hug Cloud as a photographer snaps a picture for the daily news paper._

**Narrator:**

Wow. Just wow! Oh my goodness! I have never seen an Omni-Slash pulled off so magnificently! That was truly amazing. A real once in a life-time event! Please tell me you got that?

**Camera man:**

No. The producers cut for commercial just as he started.

**Narrator (under her breath):**

Stupid commercial breaks!!

**Boring Girl:**

*sigh*

**Narrator:**

That concludes our show! Thanks for watching! Tune in next time for Suspense!

_Same theme music as before plays as credits roll._


End file.
